It's taken me a while to finish this post. I have been thinking about it for weeks, but have struggled to translate my experience into words. I don't want this to sound like a lecture or research paper, and I certainly don't want to sound too preachy. I think I know what writers block feels like now; maybe I need an editor.
So where should I even begin? I think I may just have to start with my medical history because there is no way to understand how I ended up laying on a table, almost naked, with needles tapped into all sorts of places (did I mention I hate needles?) without it.
If you are reading this, we are now close friends because only my close friends know this much about my inner workings.
Back in October I wrote about my thoughts on sugar. I outlined a complex and often hypocritical view point, which I still believe, but have been thinking about a lot today. Let me back up a bit. I've struggled for years with emotional eating and binging (read about my journey here). Once I finally excepted this reality I began working toward a more balanced life, so that most days I now feel "recovered". However, I still have moments where I abruptly swerve off the road. Today was one of those days. For any number of reasons which I have yet to unpack, I dove head first into chocolate chip cookies and ice cream this afternoon. I felt out of control and unable to connect my brain to my body.
I recognize progress because my brain reconnected much earlier than in years past; I am ending the day feeling only a little yucky, but the guilt and feelings of failure remain. On my way home my thoughts turned back to sugar in an attempt to explain what happened. In a world constantly bombarding us with "eat this, not that" messaging, how do we escape the guilt? Is it really so bad to eat an ice cream sundae on a Tuesday afternoon? I still don't have the answers, but I'm hoping my original thoughts guide me to a peaceful night's sleep.
Welcome to the first installment of the Weekly Menu Series!
A few weeks ago, I wrote about why weekly menu planning work for me. While it requires a little extra time each week, it reduces daily kitchen stress, and makes grocery shopping more efficient. In order to demystify the process, I want to start sharing my plans, and associated grocery lists on a more regular basis. Enjoy!
This is a guest post from Jesse Barnett (my youngest brother). Jesse is starting his senior year at Marymount Manhattan College in New York City. He is pursuing his BFA in Ballet, and is an amazing dancer. His girlfriend, Keira Sweeney, is a recent graduate of MMC and also a dancer
Walking enthusiast, kitchen experimenter, sports lover (watching, not playing), and future world traveler.
Get my open diary posts delivered straight to your inbox.